no, I have no idea how to fill that emptiness. outside of work, despite the pleasant wasting time by reading books or workout at the gym, it is still. and it won't disappear as quickly as You did. 
often I get deja vu or sudden, strong twinge somewhere in the chest and hundreds of feelings pass through the body. someone told me, that he was afraid and didn't want to hurt me. maybe unconsciously, maybe deliberately, gave me so fuckin' strong blow, that sometimes I thought I lose my breath. I'm trying to heal from it, hiding pain behind a smile. 
and I'm ashamed to admit that something went wrong again."

- 17.09.2014


I'll be there, where our eyes met for the first time.
Where bodies were intertwined in embrace.
Where I left trace of my lipstick on Your mouth.
Deja vu.
I'll be in the place, from where I took You.
And I let You take my hand.
I let You come in to my home.
I let You come in to my room.
I let You come in to bed.
I let You come in to my mind.
I let You come in to my life.
I let You for this everything only because, that You could forget it in heartbeat. Lose.
And disappear."

- 11.09.2014


I got carried away. I lost my temper. in result I lost something more.
even if I've never wanted to lose it.. I did it. by mistake.
even I don't know, what happened ..? I cannot understand.
please, just fuck Your pride! just f u c k i t .
just say it. 'cause I'm still wondering.. is it my fault ?"

- 6.09.2014


„just when You stopped to write to her, she realized that every morning she waited for Your message. 
You saw the worst side of her. too drunk. crybaby. independent. foolish girl. can't we start all over again ?
just forget it. just forget. forget... just call."

- 29.08.2014


„well, that's why I'd like to be alone these few days.
"hey! where are You ? what's wrong with You ?" - no, I don't wanna answer this question.
I don't wanna answer any questions, I don't wanna laugh, I don't wanna pretend, again. just forget.
maybe all I need now is You, staying in my room with Your lies, dance and lusty eyes.
but all that I have are books. coffee and cigarette. music. imaginations.
and it have to be enough.”

- 27.08.2014


"I'm the best actress ever. Everyday I'm pretending happiness.
Every morning I'm putting fake smile on my mouth.
Even if it tearing me apart, even if I have enough, I'm still playing.
When I'll finally win this fucking game ?" 

- 12.08.2014


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